Humility in the midst of determination

Today I have discovered something interesting. Pride and Determination.. determination sounds great but can it just be a good sounding word to mask a large amount of pride? Yes indeed :)

So I'm training for this 8K that I just found out about last week and the run is on Feb. 26th.. in two weeks. Before last week, it had been a good couple of months since I ran more than a mile. Going from running a mile to running 5 miles in a short amount of time is a leap but do-able. I went online this morning and printed out this weekly training guide for running an 8K. It looked really great! The training guide is based on a 8 week training program for a 8K! Since the race is two weeks away, I looked at week 6. Of course I am a beginner and I know this but I couldn't help but look at the intermediate training guide. With the intermediate weekly training you run about 22-25 miles a week with strength and training, working out six days a week. That's a lot of running!

But you know what?! I DO NOT want to be a beginner so I was determined to go straight to the intermediate workout today. Today's work out was interval training. Running really fast for .25 of a mile then slowly jogging/walking for .25 miles. You do each 8 times. At the end of the interval training you have run 4 miles. It worked out that the gym was the best place for me to do this training to make sure I was running for .25 to keep track of my time and distance. Well, I started running on the treadmill at 9.4 and it felt sooo good! After one mile my heart felt like it was going to explode. I was reminded that I am NOT an intermediate. BUT I was SOO determined!! In this moment God told me that my pride was taking over and that I needed to embrace where I am at.. because frankly a heart attack or fainting is not okay. So the second mile of the interval training I ran at 7 and then walked at 4.5. After the second mile, my heart was beating normal and then my adrenaline kicked in! I went back to determination. This time instead of running as fast as I was able to, I embraced where I'm at.. I ran at about 6.5.. 7 or 8 when I was able and then walked at 4.5ish. And guess what?! I completed the entire 4 miles AND I was a minute under which means even with this interval training I ran just seconds under a 10 minute mile. My goal is a 8 1/2 min mile. Is this possible in two weeks.. hmmmm

Also, I have come to a new understanding of God giving us strength to do anything - to get us through when we feel like we can't do it anymore. I have heard people use this for EVERYTHING. While it is true, we do have a decision to keep on going. For me, I believe that in the midst of something hard God pulls you through when He speaks to you. Like in the above scenario. God was telling me about pride and determination. It was this little lesson from Him that made me keep on going. That's clearly God giving me strength to pull through. Those thoughts were not my own. I mean come on why would I be thinking of pride while I'm running? haha It was clearly God speaking to me. If I felt like I was getting tired but then decided to keep on going, I believe that is ME, my humanness to encourage me to go.. but not necessarily God giving me strength. So my question is how do you know when God is giving you the strength to pull through or if YOU are the one giving yourself strength to pull through? From my experience today, for me.. I think that there is a big difference between the two and we get these confused all the time. But its also hard because they blend together.. one of those things that we will never know but interesting ideas to ponder.

After I ran I did a little strength training. I'm an over achiever. So now I want to say that I am an intermediate training for the 8K. My pride and determination are linked together. I may be in for a surprise when I'm suppose to run 7 miles in a couple days!! I am praying for humility in the midst of determination. Can that happen?